Stretch Marks: The Truth Behind The Treatments

IT seemed as though it happened over night. As though I went from a little girl mucking out stables, with chocolate spread around my mouth and bits of sawdust in my hair, to a 5ft 10in woman, crouching awkwardly in the corner, trying to hide the fact that I was head and shoulders above everybody else. Although now I’m older, and honestly quite proud of my height, nature has cruelly left behind her ugly mark, the scars of my growth spurt, the bad memories of those dark, school days.

Stretch marks. Wrongly associated with only the overweight or pregnant (of which I have been neither), these unsightly lines are pretty much impossible to get rid of. Like trying to kill a cockroach or wean Pete Doherty off heroin. Those seeking rescue from the unsightly marks be warned: most of the treatments and creams available do not work. You will be lied to. You will waste your money. And, if you’re anything like me, you’ll probably end up screaming into a pillow or attacking your dermatologist.

But fret no further, I’ve self-sacrificed somewhat and done the job for you. You know, like Jesus did in the Bible. Over the last couple of months, I have been digging beneath the nonsense, trying out every new-age fad and old wives’ tale, hoping to find a cure, or at least something that actually helps a little.

Click here for part 1