Regular Einstein Awards

WE scour the local and international media to bring you the best and worst our planet has to offer. And the winner is…

Charlie Bigham Pies for the “Valentine’s Is Really A Load Of Balls” Award
Artisan pie maker Bigham has created a special Valentine’s pie which is filled with bull’s testicles, hmm yummy. Apparently bull gonads are rich in testosterone so it’s a great aphrodisiac. The ‘Cock and Bull’ luxury pie will be available at Ocado while stocks last. 

Paul Dacre for the “Nothing Wrong With Scaring Middle England” Award
The Daily Mail has a reputation for blaming foreigners and benefit claimants for just about everything so when editor-in-chief Dacre was asked whether the Mail played on its readers’ fears and prejudices, he replied ‘anxieties rather than prejudices, is the word I’d use’.

Lee Westwood for the “Sorry Mum, Won’t Happen Again” Award
The world’s number three golfer was forced to apologise on Twitter after being told off by his mum for swearing on a live TV broadcast. 

Killer Whales for the “Most Unusual Lawsuit” Award
Five killer whales based in America have been named as plaintiffs in a legal action against SeaWorld. It will be the first time that a US court will hear legal arguments over whether animals should have the same constitutional protection rights as humans.

18-Month-Old Toddler for the “Start Them When They Are Young” Award
Gifted rugrat Jamie Myska-Buddell became a YouTube hit with 800,000 views of him playing ping pong with his dad Kevin. He’s alright but he missed a couple due to lack of concentration. Kid’s still got a lot to learn about being in the ‘zone’.